artist: Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties
album: We Don't Have Each Other
Learn how to download here
DISCLAIMER: This is a depressing and sad post so you don't have to read this if you don't want to. I'm just venting out and expressing my opinion.
Salutations fellow internet people!
WOOO HOORAY FOR UNSCHEDULED POSTING! **please note the sarcasm before it gets awkward** It's funny because I have a whole bunch of mini posts that I type in the notes in my phone because I always forget to actually write them on my blog so HERE IT IS!
S/N (that means 'side note') Check out the album, We Don't Have Each Other, by Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties ☺ His songs may be super depressing, but they are AMAZING!
Anywho...lately, I've been feeling really down. Hopeless, crushed, and defeated to be a little more specific ☹ I've been staying up until 2 am everyday. It's not that I don't want to fall asleep, it's that I can't fall asleep. I look in the mirror and hate who I am, so I binge eat. Soon enough, I realize what I'm doing so I starve myself. Curse the people who can effortlessly pull off anything. I'm not getting anything done. I'm not being productive. I'm obsessing over friends who most likely don't care for me. I try too hard to talk to people, but because of that it seems like I'm arrogant and awkward when attempting to socialize so I just stop talking in general. I hold myself back from so many things in fear of judgement, not only from others but also from myself. I delete and throw away projects that seem dumb after finishing them because I feel like I've failed. It's like I get so close, yet I manage to screw myself over and mess up my whole opportunity. My parents freak out when they see the tiniest of scratches on me (because I scar easily) so they automatically assume I went back to my old ways and think I'm some sort of suicidal mess. (That's their opinion, not mine) I'm sick of my mood swings and I'm sick of who I am.
Why do I even bother trying?
I'm so sorry that most of my posts are really sad and depressing, but that's just...well...me. This is my life and I'm choosing to use this blog as a way to vent. I'm open to any advice from anyone who is out there.
Not gonna lie, it would be nice to look back and see how I transitioned from the sad being that I am now to a happy and healthy person sometime in the future. But who knows what my future is going to be like? I'm not going to force myself to be happy on my own blogI already do that in real life.
DISCLAIMER: This is a depressing and sad post so you don't have to read this if you don't want to. I'm just venting out and expressing my opinion.
Salutations fellow internet people!
WOOO HOORAY FOR UNSCHEDULED POSTING! **please note the sarcasm before it gets awkward** It's funny because I have a whole bunch of mini posts that I type in the notes in my phone because I always forget to actually write them on my blog so HERE IT IS!
S/N (that means 'side note') Check out the album, We Don't Have Each Other, by Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties ☺ His songs may be super depressing, but they are AMAZING!
Anywho...lately, I've been feeling really down. Hopeless, crushed, and defeated to be a little more specific ☹ I've been staying up until 2 am everyday. It's not that I don't want to fall asleep, it's that I can't fall asleep. I look in the mirror and hate who I am, so I binge eat. Soon enough, I realize what I'm doing so I starve myself. Curse the people who can effortlessly pull off anything. I'm not getting anything done. I'm not being productive. I'm obsessing over friends who most likely don't care for me. I try too hard to talk to people, but because of that it seems like I'm arrogant and awkward when attempting to socialize so I just stop talking in general. I hold myself back from so many things in fear of judgement, not only from others but also from myself. I delete and throw away projects that seem dumb after finishing them because I feel like I've failed. It's like I get so close, yet I manage to screw myself over and mess up my whole opportunity. My parents freak out when they see the tiniest of scratches on me (because I scar easily) so they automatically assume I went back to my old ways and think I'm some sort of suicidal mess. (That's their opinion, not mine) I'm sick of my mood swings and I'm sick of who I am.
Why do I even bother trying?
I'm so sorry that most of my posts are really sad and depressing, but that's just...well...me. This is my life and I'm choosing to use this blog as a way to vent. I'm open to any advice from anyone who is out there.
Not gonna lie, it would be nice to look back and see how I transitioned from the sad being that I am now to a happy and healthy person sometime in the future. But who knows what my future is going to be like? I'm not going to force myself to be happy on my own blog
Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions below!
<3 The Little Fangirl
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