artist: Fall Out Boy
album: Infinity On High
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Salutations fellow internet people!
The more I see the title of my blog, the more I am starting to hate it. I honestly suck at writing posts, but I feel like I should today because ALOT has been going on lately. (This is pretty much just going to be my train of thought)
So school ended! YAY! Am I happy? Happy that it's over. Am I excited for summer? Ehhh not really. I have AP homework for a class I didn't know I was enrolled in and I don't have a set schedule so my first day is going to be a blast! **note the sarcasm** -.- But I'm sure the rest of my summer will go swimmingly. I'm mostly hoping I ACTUALLY get to exercise a bit more because I'm so unhappy with myself. I've been switching off between overeating and starving and I can't take it anymore. Also, my sleep schedule is wacky because I either can't sleep or I'm having a Snapchat conversation with a friend.
As I've done my whole life, I've spent most of my summer so far on the internet. Tumblr, Netflix, and YouTube are my most visited. I was able to watch multiple movies, all of which I enjoyed. Tumblr is just.......Tumblr. And watching so many YouTube videos kinda makes me want to start making videos on my own channel again. Way back when, my best friend and I started a YouTube channel together and would just posts whatever WE thought was cool. We used my HP camera and her FlipCam to record vlogs of us walking home from school, going shopping, going to festivals, and just recording our adventures together. I ended up using my camera for Yearbook in school and didn't realize that all of our vlogs were erased when I plugged it into the school computers. And what made matters worse was that her FlipCam broke and wouldn't upload anything onto any device. Overtime, we both kinda drifted apart and never made a video ever again. Sometimes I look back at our old videos and just cringe at our younger selves, but I get really emotional because I really, truly miss how happy I was doing it.
I don't actually say this out loud, but I do think about it ALL THE TIME: I feel like I was destined to do something so much more than what I am doing now. I feel arrogant whenever I talk about it, but I just feel like I need to something impacting and really just get myself out there in the world. I don't really know if anyone else has this same feeling, but I don't know, I've had this same thought in my head since I could remember.
I've been binge watching Dan Howell (Danisnotonfire) on YouTube lately. On top of being pretty much a God with a British accent, he's a nerd and I love it. I can relate to his awkwardness, and I think that's the point of YouTube. To connect with others of same personalities or interests or whatever, and to let people know that they aren't the only ones. Looking back at what I just typed, those two sentences don't make sense together but at the same time it does....I'll just leave it to interpretation. Anyways, my sister has been bugging me about how I'm going to prom this upcoming school year and IS DYING to go dress shopping with me. Little does she know that I've already chosen one that fits me perfectly, is completely free of cost, and I have it in my possession. I'm just keeping it a secret because I enjoy trying on clothes and fancy dresses ☺ It got me thinking of who I could possibly go to prom with. I'm not the most attractive person, I'm socially awkward, and my height isn't very suitable for most individuals. I had considered taking my chances and doing a promposal for a YouTuber, but after self-evaluation, I've decided that they're better off without me begging them to go to prom with me and my beanstalk of a personality.
Oh! I've been driving alot more lately since it's summer! I just REALLY suck at parking. Parking will be the death of me just UGH. Since I don't have to stress about school, I've been taking time in the morning to actually look presentable. I wear makeup and decent clothes now! Before, I would only do it on the weekends, but now it's an everyday thing and it feels nice to pamper myself each day after a whole school year of dressing in essentially the same thing everyday (sweaters, jeans, t-shirts, converse/vans, etc) with only mascara on my face. The immediate feeling of power I get when I put on lipstick is just heart-eyes emoji. Oh gosh I actually typed that...I'll see myself out. No but seriously I love wearing lipstick. I never really realized that literally all of the makeup I wear is matte. Oh well! It may not seem like a big deal for me to dress nice, but to me it is. I don't know why I do this and I want to stop, but whenever I doll myself up the way I like on a school day, I give stupid excuses as to why I'm dressed that way that day. It usually falls along the lines of: not finding "normal" clothes to wear, having a presentation in one of my classes, having family over after school, or because I was "forced" to look nice. In reality, I WANTED and CHOSE to look nice that day. I just don't feel comfortable telling people that because I expect responses like "why don't you choose to do that everyday?" or "are you dressing like that to impress someone?" **sigh** Why can't I be normal?
Well that's all I got for right now, I guess. How was your school year? Anything exciting for summer? SHOULD I resume my channel and start making videos again? If you had a channel, what would YOU do? Any future plans/past experiences with prom?
Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions below!
Salutations fellow internet people!
The more I see the title of my blog, the more I am starting to hate it. I honestly suck at writing posts, but I feel like I should today because ALOT has been going on lately. (This is pretty much just going to be my train of thought)
So school ended! YAY! Am I happy? Happy that it's over. Am I excited for summer? Ehhh not really. I have AP homework for a class I didn't know I was enrolled in and I don't have a set schedule so my first day is going to be a blast! **note the sarcasm** -.- But I'm sure the rest of my summer will go swimmingly. I'm mostly hoping I ACTUALLY get to exercise a bit more because I'm so unhappy with myself. I've been switching off between overeating and starving and I can't take it anymore. Also, my sleep schedule is wacky because I either can't sleep or I'm having a Snapchat conversation with a friend.
As I've done my whole life, I've spent most of my summer so far on the internet. Tumblr, Netflix, and YouTube are my most visited. I was able to watch multiple movies, all of which I enjoyed. Tumblr is just.......Tumblr. And watching so many YouTube videos kinda makes me want to start making videos on my own channel again. Way back when, my best friend and I started a YouTube channel together and would just posts whatever WE thought was cool. We used my HP camera and her FlipCam to record vlogs of us walking home from school, going shopping, going to festivals, and just recording our adventures together. I ended up using my camera for Yearbook in school and didn't realize that all of our vlogs were erased when I plugged it into the school computers. And what made matters worse was that her FlipCam broke and wouldn't upload anything onto any device. Overtime, we both kinda drifted apart and never made a video ever again. Sometimes I look back at our old videos and just cringe at our younger selves, but I get really emotional because I really, truly miss how happy I was doing it.
I don't actually say this out loud, but I do think about it ALL THE TIME: I feel like I was destined to do something so much more than what I am doing now. I feel arrogant whenever I talk about it, but I just feel like I need to something impacting and really just get myself out there in the world. I don't really know if anyone else has this same feeling, but I don't know, I've had this same thought in my head since I could remember.
I've been binge watching Dan Howell (Danisnotonfire) on YouTube lately. On top of being pretty much a God with a British accent, he's a nerd and I love it. I can relate to his awkwardness, and I think that's the point of YouTube. To connect with others of same personalities or interests or whatever, and to let people know that they aren't the only ones. Looking back at what I just typed, those two sentences don't make sense together but at the same time it does....I'll just leave it to interpretation. Anyways, my sister has been bugging me about how I'm going to prom this upcoming school year and IS DYING to go dress shopping with me. Little does she know that I've already chosen one that fits me perfectly, is completely free of cost, and I have it in my possession. I'm just keeping it a secret because I enjoy trying on clothes and fancy dresses ☺ It got me thinking of who I could possibly go to prom with. I'm not the most attractive person, I'm socially awkward, and my height isn't very suitable for most individuals. I had considered taking my chances and doing a promposal for a YouTuber, but after self-evaluation, I've decided that they're better off without me begging them to go to prom with me and my beanstalk of a personality.
Oh! I've been driving alot more lately since it's summer! I just REALLY suck at parking. Parking will be the death of me just UGH. Since I don't have to stress about school, I've been taking time in the morning to actually look presentable. I wear makeup and decent clothes now! Before, I would only do it on the weekends, but now it's an everyday thing and it feels nice to pamper myself each day after a whole school year of dressing in essentially the same thing everyday (sweaters, jeans, t-shirts, converse/vans, etc) with only mascara on my face. The immediate feeling of power I get when I put on lipstick is just heart-eyes emoji. Oh gosh I actually typed that...I'll see myself out. No but seriously I love wearing lipstick. I never really realized that literally all of the makeup I wear is matte. Oh well! It may not seem like a big deal for me to dress nice, but to me it is. I don't know why I do this and I want to stop, but whenever I doll myself up the way I like on a school day, I give stupid excuses as to why I'm dressed that way that day. It usually falls along the lines of: not finding "normal" clothes to wear, having a presentation in one of my classes, having family over after school, or because I was "forced" to look nice. In reality, I WANTED and CHOSE to look nice that day. I just don't feel comfortable telling people that because I expect responses like "why don't you choose to do that everyday?" or "are you dressing like that to impress someone?" **sigh** Why can't I be normal?
Well that's all I got for right now, I guess. How was your school year? Anything exciting for summer? SHOULD I resume my channel and start making videos again? If you had a channel, what would YOU do? Any future plans/past experiences with prom?
Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions below!
<3 The Little Fangirl
