artist: Black Veil Brides
album: Avengers Assemble
This was my thirteenth journal entry in my actual physical journal. Yes, the names are already changed. I'm going to be posting the rest of my entries, then will start posting mainly on here.
This was when Iam was going through some inner turmoil after I thought my days of sadness were over. It's a bit depressing to read, so read at your own will.
November 19, 2014
It's all slowly coming back again. The feeling of loneliness, losing self-worth, self-hatred, wanting to kill myself. It invades my inner thoughts and outlooks of my life. My world is crashing down piece by piece with every mistake or flaw I find in myself. I want to get better. I need to get better. I'm trying, but nothing's happening. Everything just gets worse and worse. My face harvests so many pimples, I cover my stomach because I can now make a hotdog out of it, and all my grades are slowly dropping. It's come to a point where I'm asking Sarah for help....I can't take it anymore. I get it. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart. I'm not talented. I am nothing. I'm worthless. I want to die. Just end this pain. End this feeling of no hope. End my efforts of trying to be happy and pretending everything's okay. End my countless nights of crying and not being able to sleep.
*dramatic sigh* Almost done. I see a pattern of repetitive phrases in each entry, but that's the thing. They're constantly on my mind, even now. Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions below!
<3 The Little Fangirl
This was when I
November 19, 2014
It's all slowly coming back again. The feeling of loneliness, losing self-worth, self-hatred, wanting to kill myself. It invades my inner thoughts and outlooks of my life. My world is crashing down piece by piece with every mistake or flaw I find in myself. I want to get better. I need to get better. I'm trying, but nothing's happening. Everything just gets worse and worse. My face harvests so many pimples, I cover my stomach because I can now make a hotdog out of it, and all my grades are slowly dropping. It's come to a point where I'm asking Sarah for help....I can't take it anymore. I get it. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart. I'm not talented. I am nothing. I'm worthless. I want to die. Just end this pain. End this feeling of no hope. End my efforts of trying to be happy and pretending everything's okay. End my countless nights of crying and not being able to sleep.
*dramatic sigh* Almost done. I see a pattern of repetitive phrases in each entry, but that's the thing. They're constantly on my mind, even now. Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions below!
<3 The Little Fangirl
No comments:
Post a Comment